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Clara

by Mel Stone

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1.
Most Days 03:03
the ocean churns as it ebbs and flows that's the way that life goes rolls in and fades out face buried in a crowd then you face the darkness alone the river runs red while you're skipping stones it's a long way to go to get where I'm going You're the well that I draw from I begged for strength that wouldn't come what a waste it was to kneel down and pray that this time you'll give up and stay but pleading's as good as believing most days i can find some sleep but it comes and goes bathed in LCD glow wide eyed and worn out brain buried in a cloud, then morning's screaming on my phone i still wear your ring but it's missing stones The sun is an anchor keeps me grounded and glowing heavy and glittering chained and weighing me down you can swear you got nothing to say pretend you weren't carved out of clay but singing's as good as believing most days on, the dying flash of light, that keeps the mantles burning the omniscient burst of time, that keeps the planets turning collapsing into cold the only hope inside the daily decay is that tomorrow i'll wake up okay but dreaming's as good as believing now i'm this choked up and anxious cliche in a slow motion breakdown display but seeing's as good as believing most days
2.
trouble, sideways reflection of skin and bones buried, a lifecycle of student loans ten years to clear her name it's the weight that keeps her weary heart from wandering it hits, coming to terms with her lifelong fear heavy, a living prison inside the mirror good behavior gets you life it's the chains that keep her free and numb and wallowing waiting for a savior but no superman's coming head up, headed home it's the hope that keeps her down and out and floundering waiting for a savior but no superman's coming hands up, left alone it's the weight that keeps her weary heart from wandering it's the chains that keep her free and numb and wallowing it's a life that keeps you stuck and crushed and wondering
3.
Mess 03:12
she don’t mind waking up alone she don’t mind talking to this empty home quiet keeping her company while the vultures scream circling drones she don’t care what the critics say she don’t care which name goes on her grave darting eyes never settling carrying through on her day to day she says, yeah, I'm a mess but I'm trying my best to be all that you expect of me picture-perfect princess broke, broken, and depressed just pretty enough to pass invisibly she don’t want her failure to win she don’t want to give up and to give in the inescapable momentum of the black hole where her heart had been racing home sixteen miles to go silence cuts through the radio the sun is chasing her down she never stops to rest will always second guess every move every choice every day on an aimless mission slave to indecision free to sit and worry her minutes away but despite all the stress she’s doing her best but can't fight the raw gravity so she's scraping her pennies and burning her twenties so that some day she might be free

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released November 13, 2017

for clara, for being in the right place at the right time

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Mel Stone New York, New York

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