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By Now

from Female by Mel Stone

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lyrics

compare everything i see
To the one I want to be
the same reflection every day
The weightless longing for a brief reprieve

but I’m older now, been this way a while
thought I'd do it all on my own by now

let the evening settle in
shadows cascade across her skin
Easy and uncomplicated
lifting my levels just to feel again

but I’m older now, it's getting darker out
thought I'd have it all on my own by now
that i should get it all on my own by now

i've searched for long time
for anything steady to hold
my best years escape me
my worst fears they make me
a breakdown in slow mo

last night i woke up in a sweat
dreaming about a broken neck
spectres towering above my bed
adorned in each of my regrets

but i'm older now, a recovering golden child
and I'd have it all on my own by now
yeah I'd do it all on my own by now
that I could do it all on my own by now

credits

from Female, released July 24, 2018

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Mel Stone New York, New York

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